Four Chambers to the Heart
by Fanbutnotsopitchperfect
Summary: He has this theory about how many times a heart can break.


A/N edited: Wow people are reading this?! Thanks! I finally did a post write read (I hate reading my on work), and corrected a few errors. I will probably correct more I ever do another reread. I don't think this played out in words as well as it did in my head. But I'm new to the Pitch Perfect fandom but this couple is my new OTP. I'm not sure how much else I'll be able to do with them but I'm open to idea and I really like writing from Jesse's perspective because I don't believe I'm sharp or witty enough to write from Beca's. I hope everyone enjoys this. Reviews are love.

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He hates that late night movies have commercials. He doesn't need an over priced food processor, and even if he did there's not way he could afford it. And he's tired off hearing about if you call this number they can help you solve all your credit problems. They can't solve his credit problems because his credit problems have nothing to do with debt. He just can't get his name in any credits. Movies just shouldn't have commercials interrupting them, it ruins the element. It pulls you out of the movie and reminds you that you're in real life and real life can really suck. So he's beyond annoyed when they cut to a commercial right after the pivotal turning point of the movie he's watching. This time it's one for some newly approved heart medication. Like that could actually fix his heart.

In high school he took this anatomy class to try to impress a girl he had a crush on. He doesn't remember her name and it didn't impress her. But he learned that the human heart has four chambers. It's probably the only thing from that class he remembers. But he remembers it and he's always thought it had some significance beyond the scientific. If the heart has four chambers then it's got four different places a wound could occur. Four different places for unseen scars. Four different times a heart could be broken before it just stops beating. That's always been his theory.

Which means his is on its last chance.

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The first time she broke his heart she yelled at him when he was just trying to help. She made it clear that she didn't need his help and he wasn't her boyfriend. She made him feel like he wasn't even her friend.

It wasn't until he got home for Spring Break that he realized she'd broken his heart. She had cut him off. Shut him out. Closed the door on anything between them, she couldn't even let him be her friend and that's what broke his heart.

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He hates his job. He likes the people he works with, or at least the other assistants. And the television show he works on doesn't suck. If he didn't see all the episodes before they aired it'd probably be a show he watched. And it's become known for how it uses music and the way it's been giving these small bands they're break. He thought by now he'd actually be able to be a part of that. After five years of pushing papers and getting coffee he'd have thought he'd actually be able to pick even just one song that made it into an episode. Gloried errand boy isn't exactly the dream he was chasing when he came out sucks and it barely pays the bills. If he could just get his boss to listen to him once... If he could just find that one song that's perfect for one moment on the show... If he could just get his chance... If he could... Well there's a lot of ifs. He has these thoughts, these talks with himself every day on his commute home and because it takes two hours to get anywhere in L.A. he gets plenty of time to pour over this with himself.

"Lucy, I'm home." He calls out his usual greeting as he walks into the apartment.

Benji sticks his head out from the kitchen, "Great I ordered pizza it should be here any minute."

He sighs and kicks his shoes off under the coffee table, "I hope you're paying because I'm still broke."

"Money for it is on the counter. I put your half on your tab."

The tab. It's been a running joke between them since they moved in together. After graduation Benji got an internship with a small upstart software company. It was cool at first because they were both broke and talking about the big things they were going to do in the future. Making plans to spend money they didn't have yet. Living on dreams and ramen noodles. But it turns out being a nerd can pay off and within a couple of years the small software company blew up into a multi million dollar business. Benji got a promotion, then another one, then another one. He figures at this rate pretty soon they're just going have to promote Benji to ruler of the world.

The tab has been a joke between them since Benji's first promotion. They went out, got ridiculously drunk. He knew that he couldn't really afford to blow his money on alcohol but his best friend was moving up they were celebrating so he figured he could splurge this once. At the end of the night Benji paid both their bills and said, "No worries, I'll just put it on your tab." It was only sixty bucks then. Now he doesn't even want to think about how high his tab is. There's been numerous dinners and pizzas ordered, times he's been short of the rent, a couple of doctors visits and even a plane ticket a few years ago. Benji's never asked for a single dime back because he's just that kind of person. By now he figures his tab is so high he owes Benji his first-born.

There's a knock on the door and he picks up the money, paying the delivery guy and closing the door before he puts the box down on the coffee table before he walks to the back of the apartment to find Benji. "Pizza's here." He says as he leans his head into Benji's room to find him sitting at his computer with headphones completely entranced by whatever he's listening to.

"What are you listening too?" He questions as he reaches to unplug the headphones.

"No, Jesse don't..." Benji tries to stop him but before he can finish his sentence the headphones disconnect and the music comes pouring out of the speakers. "Do that."

It takes a moment for it to process. There this slow build of layered instruments playing these sad notes. It's the kind of music that breaks your heart just with its instrumental. He's so lost in the instrumental that he's not even paying attention to the lyrics being sung by man with a voice so raspy it's almost silky. But then... Then a second voice comes it and he hears it. No he doesn't hear it, it's not an it. He hears her. He can feel his face drop, "That's..." He gets lost in the sound of her voice before he can finish his sentence.

"Yeah," Benji answers it is. "The band's pretty popular in New York but they're still trying to get their big break. She's not in it, she's just producing but she did this track with them and she's really proud of it. She sent out a mass email talking about-"

"Pizza's here." He cuts Benji off and quickly exits the room. He doesn't want to hear anymore. He doesn't need to hear anymore. He's heard enough to remember it still hurts. So he's done. He's heard enough for today.

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The second time she broke his heart she told him they would always be friends but he couldn't be her boyfriend anymore.

They were graduating, growing up and each of them headed off to chase their dreams. Their path was supposed to be headed to the same place but it turned out that his yellow brick road lead to L.A. While hers forked off to the other side of the country. Long distance wasn't for them, in her opinion it wasn't for anyone. It was just a distraction that would only lead to a messy, horrible break up and them not being friends. And she didn't want it to turn out like that, she didn't want to not have him in her life. So she felt it was best they end things knowing it was the end and then they could still stay best friends. He thought the whole theory was full of shit and a bad idea but he went with it because he couldn't stand the thought of not being in her life either.

She kissed him goodbye with a kiss that lingered long enough for him to know that she didn't really want it to be like this. Because it wasn't the way things were supposed to be. They were supposed to go to L.A. together, pay their dues, become wildly successful at their chosen fields before they settled down and had Aca-children together. That's how it was supposed to be. And her kiss lingered long enough for him to know that she wished that what was happening. When she finally got in the cab and gave him a little wave from the window that was the moment his heart broke.

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The song haunts him. He's laying in bed trying to get some sleep but he can't get the song out of his head. The small portion he heard is playing on repeat in his brain and every time he closes his eyes he can see her face, and he can picture her singing it. He sees the expressions she would make, pictures her hair falling down around her face as she sings with such emotion. He wants to forget the song even exists... He just can't.

The next morning after Benji's left for work he slips into his bedroom and quickly burns the song onto a blank CD. He listens to it on repeat the whole way to work. It's like he can't stop torturing himself with it. He memorizes every lyrics, every note, every chord progression, every harmony. He commits it all to memory. After he pulls into the studio parking he ejects the disc and slips it into his messenger back.

"Jesse just who I wanted to see," his boss Alan calls out at him as he locking his car. "Don't go too far. I need you to run downtown and drop off some licensing paperwork for me."

"Yeah sure no problem, I have something I want you to listen to something though," he reaches into his bag and hands his boss the CD. "I think it would work for the finale." He really doesn't expect anything to come of it but the song it's really amazing and he'd be stupid to not at least give it a shot.

By the time he gets back from dropping off the licensing paperwork it's almost lunchtime. Not his lunchtime of course, he eats when he can between the menial tasks of his job. It's Alan's lunchtime which means he's about to have to get back in his car and spend another hour in L.A traffic. He really hopes Alan's already sent someone else because he's really tired of driving today.

"Jesse!" He hears Alan call out his name and has to suppress a groan.

"Tuesday, so turkey and hummus wrap right?"

He watches as Alan gives him a confused look then laughs, "Glad to see you pay attention but I already sent someone for my lunch. I wanted to talk to you about your idea for that song. I listened to it. It's good. It's really good... That girl singing she's amazing."

"Yeah," he quick sad half smile crosses his lips. "Yeah she really is."

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The third time she broke his heart they weren't even a couple anymore and he swore it would be the last he left her break it.

He borrowed six hundred bucks from Benji for the cheapest cross country flight he could get. He didn't tell her he was coming to New York because he really missed her and he didn't want to hear some excuse about why he shouldn't come see her. He needed to see her. He didn't care that they weren't together. He didn't care that they were both broke and he had no idea how he'd manage to pay Benji back. He didn't care that she was sharing a tiny apartment with Chole. He didn't care about anything but seeing her. He missed her and he just needed to see her.

He stopped and bought over priced juice pouches at a corner store near her apartment, he wanted to spring for flowers to but he figured what little money he had would be better spent taking her out to dinner. Or ordering food because that would be cheaper. His heart pounded in anticipation the entire subway way ride and walk to get to her. Every minute felt like hours because he knew as soon as he knocked on her door he'd get to see her face. He'd get to see her smile and God he'd missed her smile. And her voice and her touch. He was going to convince her to touch him, he was going to convince her to kiss him. He was going to convince her that the whole long distance never works crap was crap.

All he could see as he walked up the stairs to her door was her smile. And as he knocked on the door he waited excited to be greeted with it. Except when she answered the door she wasn't smiling. She looked surprised and confused, but not the good kind of surprised and confused.

"Jesse... What are doing here?"

It wasn't exactly the way he saw this all going in his head. Then right behind her words he realized why she wasn't smiling at his surprised arrival.

"Is that Kavin?" Another guy's voice called out.

"No. One second." She stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind her.

"You have a guy here?" He blew out a harsh breath. "I fly across the country to see you and you have a guy here. How long have you been seeing him? I mean we talk every other day and you never thought to say hey I'm seeing someone?"

"Jesse, we're not together. And I didn't know you were coming. They make these things they're called phones. Most people call before they fly across the country and just show up."

"Yeah I mean I should have given you time to make sure your boyfriend wasn't around right. Here I got you those." He shoved the juice pouches at her, "I'm going back to L.A. Have a nice life." Those were his last words to her. He turned down the hallway and waited. He waited for her to say something. He wait for her to stop him. He waited for her to act like she cared. But she didn't and it broke his heart.

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Alan decides to use the song in the finale. Not just in the finale but during the turning point moment of the finale. The exact moment Jesse pictured it playing. It'll be the song that plays through viewer's heads all summer while they wait to find out what happens next and he picked. And he's going to get credit for it too. Five years of pushing papers and getting coffee and finally he's getting his credit. The episode doesn't air for a few weeks but the network is flying the band and Beca out to do an interview and acoustic performance for the shows website. Alan asks another assistant to pick them up from the airport because, "That's not your job anymore kid."

He shows up late to the welcoming party the network's providing for the band. He tried to skip it completely but between Alan insisting he go and Benji all but shoving him out of the apartment he didn't really have a choice. So he shows up late and hangs in the back of the room trying to pretend she's not there and trying not to be noticed. She'll find out in due time he had a hand in getting the song on the show but he doesn't want to make a big deal out of it. And he doesn't want her to think she's the reason he did it. Even if she kinda of is. It's not like he did it to see her or get her back or anything like that. But music is life changing and she's life changing and he can't really explain it, even to himself, why that song.

One of the actors from the show is flirting with her. Making some big scene about how talented he is, listing his credits and talking about his upcoming movie. It makes Jesse scoff to himself because if that guy knew Beca at all, he'd know that being a movie star sure as hell wasn't going to impress her. Or maybe it will now, it's been a long time since he's been a part of her life. He's tucked away by the bar watching their interaction when he sees her roll her eyes and start to look around the room like she's looking for a way out of the conversation. Nope, he was right she's still not impressed. The actor obviously doesn't know Beca the way he does.

"So Beca, do you have any special talents? Other than being beautiful."

It's such a cheesy line, he wouldn't even use a line that cheesy. He thinks he should probably save her from that conversation, and before he's even done with the thought his mouth opens, "Do the thing with the cup." He calls out and takes the steps from the bar to the table.

Her head snaps in his direction and for a second she looks like she's seen a ghost. She's completely shocked, he's caught her completely off guard and he thinks maybe that gives him the upper hand because at least he was prepared for seeing her. He finishes off the last of his beer and shakes the last drops in the cup to the floor before he puts it on the table in front of her. "Do the thing with the cup."

She blinks at him a few times, a slightly smiles before she shrugs, "Okay."

She starts drumming out the rhythm and he can't take his eyes off of her. The bar and the people around them fade away and he's 18 again watching her on a stage getting his heart stolen. When he found out she was coming to L.A. with the band he did everything he could to try and make sure his walls were up and well guarded. He talked to himself in the mirror, told himself he was over her, that whatever he felt for her was long gone. He avoided movies he'd shown her that she actual liked, he even went out on a date hoping he'd have someone to bring to this party.

The real world comes back to him as her performance comes to an end. She bites down on her bottom and looks up at him with a smile. All he can do is shake his head and smile back at her because he's a total goner. And when asks him if he wants to ditch this party with her there's no way he can say no.

They end up in her hotel room. There's this big blur of lips on lips, skin on skin, clothes getting thrown to the floor so fast he forgets to take his shoes off and trips onto her bed. He's drunk but he can't blame it all on the alcohol because she has him completely intoxicated, the way she always has. He's drawn back into her the way he always was. And she still tastes the same. She still feels the same. She still makes the same sigh when he kisses that spot just below her ear that he always loved to kiss. She makes it easy to get lost in her. She makes it easy for him to feel things he hasn't felt in a long time because the last time she broke his heart he just stopped feeling things altogether.

He's lying awake watching her sleep when he notices a small music note tattooed on the underside of her left breast. He's never seen that tattoo before she must have gotten it some time in the last few years. He cut her off after the last time she broke his heart and he's missed so much of her life. Spending one night getting lost in her doesn't change that and he starts to think that this was probably a really bad idea.

"Are you watching me sleep?" She softly groans as she rolls over onto him. "You're such a weirdo." She mumbles as she props herself up against his chest.

He doesn't say anything back, he just stares at the ceiling trying to put together all the thoughts in his head. Things he wants to say to her, things he should say to her, things he can't say to her. Things like you really hurt me. Things like I miss you. Things like I still love you because I never stopped loving you I just blocked it out. All things he just can't say to her. So he's going to stare at the ceiling.

Her fingers dance across his chest and up to his face to draw his head down so he has to look at her. "Jesse, I want to tell you-"

"Don't." He says with a hard swallow and shakes his head. "Don't say it. Just because you want to say something doesn't mean you should. At least not right now. Can we just let tonight be perfect?"

She doesn't answer him, she grabs his face and pulls him into a kiss as she rolls to pull him on top of her. And he gets lost falling into her again.

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She's only in L.A for two days. It's not long enough because after one night with her he wants her to stay in L.A forever.

He gives her a personal tour of the studio, tells her about all the things they film there. He takes her to all the touristy spots, and to all of his favorite spots in the city. They spend two days together like no time has passed.

It's not until he's taking her to the airport that they have to acknowledge it.

"What does this mean Jesse?"

He blows out a breath as he pulls to the curb side drop off point. And she doesn't wait for him to answer her.

"I'm sorry for what I did to you when you showed up in New York. I just... I missed you. I was in New York and you were here and we were broken up because I was dumb. And I missed you so much all the time. I just wanted not to miss you. It scared me how much I missed you. So I started trying to move on, trying to make you not matter as much. It was a second date. I didn't even like him that much. We were waiting for Chloe to finish getting ready and his friend so show up before we went out. Then you showed up with juices pouches. When I saw you at my front door I was shocked and all the progress and the moving on, you blew it hell. I should have stopped you from walking away. I wanted to stop you from walking away. To this day I don't know why I didn't stop you from walking away but I didn't I just let you and I'm a shitty person for doing that. I've missed you everyday since and I'm really sorry."

He can feel his eyes glaze over as he listens to her apology. It stings. It hurts. It kills him because she's leaving again and if he let's her back in there's nothing stopping history from repeating itself. He can't have her break his heart a fourth time. He knows he won't survive if she does. He leans down and kisses the top of her head. "Have a safe flight."

"You didn't answer my question. What does this mean?"

He shrugs slights and let's out a sigh, wishing he had a clear answer to give her. "Just... Just let me know you get back to New York safe okay."

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The day after the season finale airs her song is number one on the Itunes charts and Alan offers him the chance to consult on the music for the next season with him. It's a totally awesome day. Paying his dues has finally paid off, and it would have never happened if it hadn't been for her song.

He texts her as soon as he walks out of Alan's office because she's the first person he wants to tell. "I got a promotion. They're going to let me work on next season's music. Thank you."

"Congrats. But don't thank me. You did that on your own." She responds.

Maybe he did do it on his own but... It was her song. It was her voice. It was her fault he did. He's not going to argue with her about it but he's thankful she came into his life. And that she came back into his life.

A few weeks later they have the exact same exchange only this time it's her telling him she has an interview with a major label and thanking him for it.

"Congrats. But don't thank me. You did that on your own." He responds the same way she responded to him.

He tosses his phone back to the table and leans against the soft. Maybe this is it for them. The end of their movie. It's happy with both of their dreams coming true and both of them being happy. Maybe they were never supposed to end up together they were just supposed to help each other get where they needed. And if that's the truth and this is how their movie ends then as long as she's happy, he's okay with that.

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"Jesse, I think the pizza's here I'm on the phone. Can you get it?" Benji says as he pokes his head into Jesse's room and then motions in the direction of their apartment door.

He nods and heads towards the door. There's money on the coffee table, he can afford to cover the pizza now but Benji always seems to leave it there, old habits die hard. He walks right passed it, he may not be able to start paying down his tab yet but he can cover the pizza. He opens the front door to find no one there. "Benji no one's at the door."

"Really?" He makes a face before he mumbles something into his phone. "Check the hallway maybe you weren't fast enough."

"Okay, whatever." The way Benji's acting is kind of weird but Benji is still kind of weird so it's really nothing new. He steps out into the hallway and looks around. "Dude there's really no one here."

"Keep looking."

"I'm not going on some hunt for a guy that's supposed to come to out door. That the whole point of having it delivered so you don't have to go get it." He calls back towards the open door as he walks down the hallway and sees all the elevator doors closed. "Yeah the pizza's not here." He shakes his head and turns his back. It's only turned for a moment before he hears the elevator doors open, and Simple Minds comes blaring out and she's singing along.

"Don't you forget about me..."

His head whips around and she's there. She's there standing in the elevator holding a small speaker attached to her cell phone up over her head. He cocks an eyebrow in confusion but can't fight the smile that breaks out over his face.

"You don't have a window I could access and they don't make boom boxes anymore." She smiles as she steps off the elevator before it closes. "I got the job. I got the job and it's in L.A."

He wants to pounce on her, grab her and kiss her senseless until the fall into his bed. But his stomach knots, and the moments of heartbreak flash through his mind. "What this mean?" He asks the same question she asked him outside of the airport. The question he couldn't answer. The question he hopes she has an answer for.

"It means I don't have to keep missing you anymore."

He watches as her face forms into a smile he'll never get tired of seeing. He jolts forward and captures her face between his hands kissing her with the same passion they had in their first kiss.

When they break there's a faint sound of clapping coming for the doorway of his apartment. He laughs slightly as shakes his head, now he's never going to be able to repay his tab with Benji.

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"Movies should not have commercials!"

"You never know one day you may need all the information on erectile dysfunction these commercials give you." She pats his leg and hops off the couch towards the bathroom.

"Hurry up before they're over!" He responds and chucks a few pieces of popcorn into his mouth. He sighs at the television as what is obviously a pharmaceutical commercial comes on. He doesn't need information on erectile dysfunction and he almost changes the channel when he realizes it's not for that. It's a commercial for heart medication. A soft laugh leaves him and as she crawls back onto the sofa then pulls his arm over her he can't help but smile to himself.

He still thinks his four chambers of the heart means four breaks theory is right. But he realizes that someone has to steal your heart before they can break. So you get three steals.

The first time she stole his heart she was sitting on a stage singing as she accompanied herself with a plastic cup.

The second time she stole his heart she was on a stage singing to him, and ran off it to take his breath away with a kiss.

The third time she held a make shift boom box over her head outside of his apartment.

Maybe the heart has four chambers so there's always one still beating, still hoping, still waiting. They never make it far enough to test his four heart breaks theory because after the third time she stole his heart, she never broke it again.

-fin


End file.
